Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Post I hoped I'd Never Have to Write

I have very sad news to share with you and I can't figure out the best way to say it. Little Parsley didn't make it. When Patrick checked the nannies this morning, Parsley was underneath his mama and he wasn't breathing. Patrick tried to revive him but it quickly became obvious that it was too late.

I don't know what happened to the little fella. He seemed healthy enough when we left him at midnight and it wasn't cold in the barn. The thing is, sometimes this just happens. It goes along with the joy of watching new life come into the world and it's just so amazingly sad.

I have spent the day second-guessing myself, not for anything I did with the goats, but for blowing the 'new baby' trumpet so loudly and so soon. The last thing in the world I want to do is make you all sad. But it would feel kind of dishonest if I only shared the successes with you and kept the disappointments all to myself. Our farm is a wonderful place where magical things happen, but it isn't Disneyworld. It would be paternalistic of me to filter the news I share with you and that doesn't sit well with me. But I want to hear your opinions.

25 and 11 kidded today and we have two new, healthy buck kids in the family, but I'll introduce them to you tomorrow. This post is about Parsely- a sweet, tiny angel that we were lucky to spend a little time with.

28 comments:

jenibug said...

Oh Susie... How sad. It's never easy to lose a kid, two or four legged and when you are in the farming business it is a sad fact of life that some aren't going to make it. It doesn't make it any easier, I know. I've lost animals too. And cried over it. Have your cry and we will too. But as you said we had Parsley for a little bit and he was such a sweet little bit to see too. Thank you for sharing all the aspects of our fiber and your and Patrick's hard work. I know it means so much to me.

Heidi said...

Thank you for sharing the news with us, Susan. It was a wonderful treat to see what little of Parsley we did, and reminders of the tenuous nature of life help us value those around us even more!

Writer bug said...

Oh Susan, I'm so sorry! This must be so sad for you. I'll be thinking about you and Patrick, Basil and his momma.

I agree with what you wrote--that it would be dishonest to present just the happy stuff. I like getting a peak into farm life, the good and the bad.

**HUGS**

TheTwistedPurl said...

Susan, my heart goes out to you! Poor little one. Parsley was too cute for words.

Thank you for sharing this information with us. It is sad and hard to hear, but it would be stranger to not hear another word about the little angel. ♥

Ellen said...

So sorry to hear about sweet Parsley.
Thanks for sharing everything with us. We are a family after all and need to be there for each other for the happy and sad times.

--Deb said...

Oh, the poor little sprig. Such sad news.

Rebecca Blood said...

Poor little baby.

But please don't feel that you need to filter news about the farm. One of the principles of a CSA is that members share the successes and losses of that farm - we share the risk. At a vegetable CSA, that might be a crop failure. At an animal CSA, that might be the loss of an animal. These shared experiences allow us to be part of the farm, sad as that might sometimes be.

[hugs]

smplfied said...

Susie,
I'm so sorry about the loss of little Parsley. He was a sweet little fella. Thank you for sharing with us, the joys and the sadnesses - they are all a part of this life. I hope and pray that his mom, in her way, is able to deal with the loss, as well.

Allisone said...

Susie,
I agree with Rebecca, a CSA is a little like a support group. Sometimes things like this do happen, and being sad is part of the process. I know that it makes me realize what a gift these little babies are.

habitual said...

I'm so sorry to read this news Susan. Poor little Parsley......I hope he died peacefully. That must have been very hard for you guys....

What was the Mom doing? Do they mourn or have any observable reaction (like elephants)?

((((hugs))))

Susan said...

Thanks so much for all your kind words. We are so sad tonight.
Parsely's mom (#7/Nanny McPhee) is defintiely confused and unhappy. Every time one of the other kids makes a noise she rushes over to smell them to see if it's hers.
I feel so sad for her. I'm kind of hoping that someone else will have twins so I can give McPhee another baby. Even though she was a first time mom she was very good with him.

Emily said...

Aww, this is so sad. My heart goes out to you guys. I am glad you wrote about it; now we can all join together in holding Parsley in our thoughts and hearts. Hugs to you both.

Jim said...

Susie,
Such sad news, and delivered so well. You are a good shepherdess to both your flock of animals AND your flock of CSAers... thank you for NOT holding back the bad news.

Joan said...

So sad to hear about Parsley, he was so sweet and I loved the picture of him with his mom. Didn't give a thought to how Nanny McPhee would react, my heart goes out to her and to you.
Glad that you let us all know about Parsley.

Joan

Crista said...

Because you have opened your heart to all of us, the little peanut was quickly like one of our own.

I can only say, I am so sorry...

Jenny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenny said...

Oh, Susan... that is really sad. Thank you so much for sharing it with us, though.

I believe that even a very, very short life is just as wonderful and important as a long one. Parsley came into being in your barn for a purpose, and we are all very blessed to have met him, if even through the internet, if even for just a couple of days. Please don't ever feel like you can only share the good. Thank you for letting us know, I'll say a prayer for him.

Zoe said...

So sorry for the loss of little Parsley. Thank you for sharing.

themamajama said...

Oh,Susie...again words are so inadequate. Thank you for your considering to shield us from pain. But as much as it hurts, this is part of being a member. I hope you can feel all the cyber hugs we are sending you and Nanny McPhee.

Shirra said...

Susan,
I'm so sorry. It's so hard to lose a little one. We all send you hugs. Fingers crossed for twins.

staceyjoy said...

oh, I am so sorry...

kelly said...

This is terribly sad news about Parsley -- we hardly knew the little sprig. But as for whether or not to tell us, I'll chime in with the others and say that, despite my sadness, I'm glad that you did.

If Parsley had come into this world and left it without us knowing him, he wouldn't have had the respect he was due. We all got a chance to appreciate his preciousness and now we can all mourn him properly.

Plus, now we know that we are lucky enough to have the cutest angel in the world looking over us!

I feel terrible for Nanny McPhee. I'll keep my fingers crossed for someone else having twins.

Angela said...

I think you're doing the right thing by bringing us this news as well as the good news. And please don't second-guess yourself--as you said, he was unusually small, and there may very well have been an underlying physical reason for that.

Cornelia said...

Thank you for letting me peek into the window of your sweet, and sometimes bitter, farm life. I just arrived home from a one-week business trip, and this news, while very sad, was a reminder of what is ultimately important in life...peace with those things larger that ourselves.

Maggie said...

oh Susie, I'm so sorry. I'm sending hugs and a cup of hot tea your way...

Michele said...

Susan, I'm so sorry! He was a cute little fella.

Quirkles said...

Susan, I'm so sorry for you, Patrick, and Nanny McPhee. Being part of this and reading your blog, this does feel like a family, so we are all mourning with you. My thoughts are with you.

woolies said...

so so sad. poor parsley, and poor susan. poor parsley's mom.
:0(
a kid, less than a week old, just died at my friends' ranch - rattlesnake bite.
:0(